22 March 2006

For the Ladies: Women Only please!!

If you are a male and you are reading this, beware: this blog contains my secret thoughts and is intended to encourage my sisters. I cannot stop you from reading this, but I would prefer that you didn't. If you insist on reading, please do not tell me that you read it, as I would be very embarrassed. But I feel that God wants me to write this for my sisters.

To all the single ladies out there:

I am one of you. For the past, oh, I'd say 10 years of my life, I have been searching for a husband. Yes, I started when I was twelve. Anyway, the past few years have been getting progressively more difficult for me, as some of my friends have been getting married, and having children, or hopelessly in love with that special someone. Then I went to "Calvary Chapel Bridal College" and things just seemed to get worse. The guys there were good, Christian men who loved the Lord (most of them). What am I to do? Anyway, so my quest for a husband has basically ruled my life for a while. All the while God was gently nudging me. Here is a typical conversation between me and God. Remember, I'm only human and I know it's not always what I should have said, but I'm trying to be honest here.

Me: "God, don't You love me? Don't You know that I want to get married? It's so hard to stand here and watch all these people get together when I'm standing on the sidelines!"

God: "Don't you realize that I have the absolute BEST in mind for you? All you need to do is let go, and trust Me!"

Me: "I know, but, come on, how will You ever find someone to love me? Look at all the other beautiful, talented, feminine, gentle women out there. Some of them are still single, so won't all the good guys flock to them? What's going to be left for me?"

God: "Let go, and trust Me. I have given you the desire for a husband. I have promised you that if you will take your joy in Me, than I will give you the desires of your heart. I have the perfect man chosen for you, and I am preparing him right now, just as I am preparing you."

Me: "Haven't I waited long enough? God, I'm 22 [you can put any age in here, they all work] and have never felt loved by any man. I feel so...unattractive...guys just don't like me. I don't get it! I feel so ugly, so...yeah, unattractive! Why couldn't You have made me skinnier or given me clear skin or a more feminine personality? Are You sure You meant to make me like this?"

God: "Not only did I "allow" you to be the way you are, I planned it out before I created the world. I love you. I made you just the way you are for My glory. Let go, and trust me."

Anyways, so these conversations go on and on, most of the time with God telling me to read Isaiah chapter 40 to remind me how BIG He really is, or Psalm 45 to remind me how He really feels about me. But I have basically struggled with that desire for a long time. Then on the thirteenth of this month, God really laid it on my heart to give some things up to Him. One of them was my desire for a husband. Not the "I want to get married someday" mentality, but the "meet a guy and pray, God, is this the one?" mentality. He also told me to give Him my thought life. Or, as I like to put it, the ideal life that I live in my head. It has been said before, but I'll reiterate for clarity. Guys generally struggle with their eyes. Girls struggle with their thoughts. I don't know if it is true for any of you, but I know that I have long struggled with that whole part of my life. I'll meet a guy and five minutes later, in my head, we'll already be married or whatever. Silly? Yes. Degrading to men? Absolutely. Am I ashamed about it? Definitely. For that reason, I know that it is sin. Anyway, I mentioned this because I feel that these two things are linked. BECAUSE I live in a fantasy world, I have a hard time waiting for a husband. Just as no real woman looks like the ad in the Magazine (come on, even the models have been air-brushed!), no guy will ever live up to the fantasy in my head. I gave my thought life to God, and He enabled me to leave it behind! I didn't think it was possible, but He did it! First, I asked Him to remind me when I was slipping into a indulgent thought, and He was faithful to do that. I was then able to recite scripture or pray, or try to distract myself. Now, He still reminds me when I begin moving in that direction, but the times are fewer and farther between. Once that was (essentially) under control, I realized something: I can wait. I can wait!

On the last night of our outreach (read the previous blog if you don't know what I'm talking about) we were at this woman Annerose's house. We had a blast, but at the end of the night, I don't remember how it happened, but it came up that I'm utterly single. She was joking about it, but I had to fight back tears. That's still a sensitive area for me, apparently. So, this morning, I was reading Ephesians one (Eph is my FAV book and I'm finally there in my quiet time!!!) and I stopped after verse 4.

Ephesians 1:1-4 KJV "Paul, and apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints which are at Ephesus, and to the faithful in Christ Jesus: 2 Grace be to you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: 4 according as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:"

Ok, so, that's my position in Christ. I know that. But, wait, verse four says "according as he hath chosen usbefore the foundation of the world."

God chose me.

Ok, I don't want to get into a "Calvinism vs. Armenianism" debate with y'all, but it says there that God chose me. Most of my "singleness pain" comes from the feeling that no man would ever choose to be with me instead of anyone else. But God, the God who created the heavens and the earth and the things that we have not seen in outer space and the things that we have not seen in our ocean's depths has chosen me. Me? Yes! He chose me to be His child. Why did He choose me? So that I could stand before Him holy and blameless in love. Not in a passing earthly love that is a shadow of things to come, but in the INCREDIBLE agape love that we can barely understand and only touch the tip of the iceberg when practicing. That is my encouraging thought. Yes, I know what you are thinking, "I want a man, a human being. Someone who will hold me, who I can share my life with and who will love me in return." Ok. Fair enough. Take Jesus. Man? Check. Human being? Already did that one, check. Will He hold you? Ask Him to. I remember asking God one night to hold me because I felt so alone. I remember that I felt warm all over, and totally at peace. Then I fell asleep within a matter of minutes. Can you share your life with Him? He is begging you to do so! Check Psalm 81:13. God is basically lamenting because His people did not listen to Him. That is Christ's heart for us. Does He love you in return? Girl, He loved you before you even knew who He was. My point is, Yes. I still want to get married some day. But if I live my life always waiting for the next big monument to happen, I'll miss the important stuff. Like everything. That is what Satan tries successfully to do to those in the world. It is always about the next mile post in your life. Driver's license. High School Graduation, College Graduation, First Job, Marriage, Children, Retirement...death? My goal in life: To know my Lord and Savior more and more every day. I can, and will wait until God's perfect timing brings me the man that God has created for me and me alone. I need to rest in the knowledge that God is God and He is on the throne.

Psalm 46:10-11 KJV "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. 11 The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah."

Isaiah 54:5 KJV "For thy Maker is thine husband; The LORD of hosts is his name; And thy redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called"

13 March 2006

Galatians 5:22-23 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Today I was in Galatians 5 for my quiet time. It was so cool! God totally told me to compare the fruit of the Spirit to the chapter on love, 1 Corinthians 13. Wouldn't you know itthey're parallel passages!

Galatians 5:22-23 KJV "But the fruit of the Spirit is love: joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law"

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."

Ok, there should be a colon after love in Galatians, so I put it there. Also, the word "easily" in 1 Corinthians 13:5 is not there in the original text. That being said:

Galatians "joy" = 1 Corinthians "rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth"

G "peace" = C "Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things"

G "longsuffering" = C "Charity suffereth long"

G "gentleness" = C "seeks not her own"

G "goodness" = C "and is kind" "Does not behave unseemly" "Thinks no evil"

G "faith" = C "Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things"

G "meekness" = C "charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up"

G "temperance" = "charity envieth not" "is not provoked"

One can then see, that the fruit of the Spirit is love. But than you can go to 1 Corinthians 13 and get a better description of what the fruit of the Spirit truly is!

It has been said before, and I think I'll repeat it. The best commentary on the Bible is the Bible!

11 March 2006

Luke 6:46-49

Well, I was reading the post I just posted and remembered more clearly what Hannah and I were talking about. I brought out Luke 6:46-49 as being "anchored" in the Lord.


"46 And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?
47 Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like:
48 He is like a man which built a house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock.
49 But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built a house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great" KJV

In Matthew, the "digged deep" part is not there (Matthew 7:24-27). For some reason, I always pictured this account as being the foolish house on the beach, and the wise house up on the hill by the beach on solid rock. But I don't think that is what this passage is saying. These houses were RIGHT next to each other! The one man dug down into the earth until he hit rock then built his house on that. The foolish man was too lazy to dig down and just built his house on the earth without digging to find a solid foundation. This is what we are called to do. The rock is Jesus Christ, as we follow expositional constancy.

We are called to dig into our faith and build our faith on Christ. We go through the doctrines of man and the things of the world and get to the point where we hit Jesus. Once we have found that solid, unchanging Rock, we can then begin building our relationship and our faith on Him. If we are lazy and just take what others say as truth and not be diligent like the Bereans (Acts 17:11), then we are going to falter when we are challenged. Not founded on Christ, the flooded stream beating on the house will collapse it immediately. We are to build on Christ, not our church, not our friends, not what our church tells us is true, but what we have found to be true according to His Word. PLEASE do not count on others to do your Bible study for you! Jesus wants YOU to know Him. He doesn't want there to be a middle man!

Christ wants to have an individual relationship with each and every one of us. The relationship that He has with me is different than the one He has with you. He has been showing me lately that I am not to compare myself to others. I used to look at a friend who obviously has a very close relationship with God and be jealous of them. Then I would look at someone who does not have as good a relationship with Christ and feel sorry for them. Talk about pride! God has been revealing His heart to me! I now look at a friend who has a not-so-good relationship with God and think "wow, God is going to do so much in their life! He has so much waiting for them! I am so excited for what they are going to experience soon!!" I see the person with the wonderful relationship with God and say "I am so excited that God is going to do that in my life!" It is incredible to think that He has an individual relationship with EVERYONE who knows Him!

So Groß ist der Herr!

YSIC
Stephanie

Saturday Morning and All is Well

It's been a while since I wrote anything. So I'm going to give a really boring blog that just tells you the few things I have been doing. Right now, it's 9:30 am and I'm waiting for brunch at 11. Yesterday I downloaded the past month's services at my home church (Calvary Chapel Chester Springs) and am listening to the last one now. I miss that place! Pastor Chris just said that when he puts a flashlight against his wife's pregnant stomach, the baby stops moving. Ok. Good to know.

I've been going through a MAJOR dry spell in my quiet time. I look back over the past few weeks in my journal, and there are only a few sentences per day. Sometimes the date is written and that is it. I used to do about a page a day. However, God gave me an oasis on Wednesday and just reminded me that my relationship with Him has nothing to do with what I am feeling, but what I know. I KNOW that He hears me. I KNOW that He loves me. I KNOW that He has a plan for my life. He is calling me to rest in that knowledge of Him. He wanted me to know that the more I open my heart to Him, the more He will fill it.

I was talking to my roommate Hannah about this Wednesday night. We were talking about how it is so important to remember that our relationship is not based on feelings. That God knew EXACTLY when I needed that oasis. Oh, and He told me on Wednesday when I was reading His Word that this was an oasis. I knew that He wants me to dig deeper into His word than I am used to so that when He begins to pour out His revelation on me again, my roots will be deeper. I think my theme song for this semester is "Anchored Deep." At the end of last semester, I remember it was the Monday before the end of school and the worship leader did that song. It really blessed me. I think that God wants me to realize the truth that is in that song. I keep coming back to it.

As far as other things..well...I feel totally at home here. I've made awesome friends, not to mention that I can hang out with Ela, Ludwig, Nada and Judith who I knew back from Cali. I am becoming more of a girl (GASP!). I don't know, I think that it has a lot to do with realizing who I am in Christ and that He brought me here. It is INCREDIBLE to know that I am in God's will right now! That He has led me here for this time in my life and that I obeyed His voice. Praise Him!

I think that's just about everything...so here's the lyrics to that song. Oh, and it's about 10:00 now. Half an hour to write a blog? I'm losing my touch.

Anchored Deep by Scott Cunningham

I know You're with me, I know You're here
I love Your presence, as I draw near
But my heart deceives me, my feelings lie
Yes they're always drifting, with the ocean's tide, with the ocean's tide

I'm anchored deep in Your great love
I'm anchored deep in who You are
I'm anchored deep in Your holy Word
I'm anchored deep in You my Lord

I hear You speaking, Your word is clear
My heart rejoices, as Your love casts out my fear
I'm moving forward, I'm pressing on
And nothing moves me, for You're the anchor to my soul, You're the anchor to my soul

I hear You calling, Lord here I am
Oh Lord please send me, with a message from Your hand
The fields are ready, the time is now
We need Your Spirit, oh Lord we need Your power, oh Lord we need Your power

06 March 2006

Psalm 101

"1 I will sing of mercy and judgment: unto thee, O LORD, will I sing.

2 I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me?

I will walk within my house with a perfect heart

3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes:

I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me

4 A forward heart shall depart from me: I will not know a wicked person

5 Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off:

Him that hath a high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.

6 Mine eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me:

He that walketh in a perfect way, he shall serve me.

7 He that worketh deceit fshall not edwell within my house:

He that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight

8 I will early destroy all the wicked of the land;

That I may cut off all wicked doers from the city of the LORD." KJV

When I read through that the first time, I was basically saying, "Ok, God, so...I'll just skip this Psalm and go to Ephesians, 'cause this has nothing for me." Of course, then God told me to ask Him to reveal it to me, and I reluctantly did because I thought that even God couldn't apply this to my life.

Oops, I guess I put God in a box again.

David is describing how to become Holy. To be set apart, and blameless.

(v_1) Check it out, first he is worshipping God. That means he is putting God first in his life. Not only that, but he names God Yahweh so he is worshipping the True and Living God only. He is singing, which is the gift that God has given him, so he is using his gifts and talents to worship God.

(v_2) He vows to behave well, and according to the law. Yet, the next thing he writes is asking God when He will come to him. That shows David's humility in knowing that he has no way of doing anything for God without God being with him and helping him. Next, David says that he will walk within his house with a perfect heart. He is following God even in private where no one can see him or keep him accountable except God Himself. So to David, it is a serious matter to follow God and he is not in it for the praise and adoration of man. It is not a show.

(v_3 4) He is humble enough to know his weaknesses and does not set any evil thing in front of his eyes, knowing that it could stumble him. He does not fellowship with those who would drag him down. Yes, he may be acquainted with them in such a way as to be a witness, but he does not 100% befriend them. Because of this, the evil things that they do will not find their way into David's heart. He believes that his heart is wicked enough and wants that wickedness to depart from him.

(v_5) David will not tolerate any sin in his own life and refuses to condone any sin in others' lives.

(v_6) He puts good things in front of his eyes instead of the evil. He focuses on them. He decided to surround himself with godly influences.

(v_7) Again, he will not allow bad influences to be a friend of his.

(v_8) He will destroy the wicked that will cause others to stumble and protect the things that God has given him.

This kind of reminds me of Philippians 4:8 where we are told to think upon all of these good things. First, however, through Philippians 4:6-7, we are told not to worry but to pray. Basically, take all the bad out of your head, pray about it, and then focus on the good things. This is how to be holy. He will renew our minds with the washing of the Word, but how will He wash us with the Word if we are never exposed to it?

Think about it.

YSIC