faith

Yesterday afternoon Martin asked me if I wanted to come and play a little football (that's soccer for you Yanks) before dinner at the Halle. I said sure. So I went over there and he and Roeloff took turns shooting on me as I attempted to keep goal. Martin shoots very hard. I was able to stop some, but a couple I didn't even attempt. At one point I stopped one with my right foot. The ball bounced off and was immediately followed by a shooting pain up my ankle, knee, and even into my thigh.

dang.

I couldn't put any weight on my foot at all. Martin helped me across the floor, through the net and down to a sitting position on the ledge, while I attempted to rest it a bit. Walking it off didn't help either. So basically I was in pain that afternoon. I walked back to the Villa - ok - I limped back to the Villa before dinner, and decided not to even attempt to walk back to the Halle to eat. So I stayed in the Cafe preparing a few things for breakfast. At this point Ben pokes his head in and asks if I would mind doing dishes for him since he was really not feeling well and wanted to go back to the apartments to sleep. I told him I would, and started working dishes when they were delivered to the Cafe. By the end of the night I was in tears with the amount of pain. It took me about 5 minutes to walk the 20 meters from the Cafe door to the Wohnung door.

Then was the excruciating part - climbing into my top bunk. None of my roommates were home, so I was on my own. I grabbed some paper towels and a water bottle in preparation for my getting up there. Once I made it up, I prayed.

And I continued to pray.

And weep.

God, how am I supposed to serve You here if I can't even walk?
Why was I so stupid that I tried to play sports as clumsy as I am?
Please take the pain...

There's a sign on the inside of the Wohnung that says something along the lines of "Faith is not believing that God can, but knowing that He will." I wanted to ask God to heal me. I couldn't bring myself to ask Him to.
Why?
Because I don't have enough faith. I kept going back and forth with myself. What if it is God's will to heal me? What if it isn't? Can I ask Him to do this or should I just wait it out?

Silly, I know.

I finally prayed that God would heal me. This morning I woke up with no pain, only stiffness in my right leg. I stretched that out this morning when I had 20 minutes off from my duties. My leg is 100%. I may even run on Saturday morning.

Faith.

I didn't even have a mustard seed last night and look what He gave me.

Germany

Well I'm here all safe and sound in Germany. Flight was good...got a little sleep ;)
I went to first service today, the 9:30 one and only nodded off once. NO - it wasn't because of the message, I was just extremely tired. So far my trip has been absolutly amazing!!! I have seen so many old friends and it feels like I never left. I feel at home here. Completly. I went for a run, I'm staying in the Wohnung, it's just like old times. I've been told to 'relax today, this week is going to be crazy' so this is me 'relaxing.' I'm not used to it. I have NOTHING to do! I'm going to go to the 5:00 pm service tonight, mostly because I'll probably see a bunch of friends there. But it's not quite 3 yet.

I looked at the schedule for this week. I'm mostly setting up breakfast and cleaning the kitchen. I'll be doing the initial bed-making as well. And cleaning. A lot of cleaning. But I'm completly looking forward to it!

At this point I really don't have too much more to say - I've only been here a couple hours and I don't have any pictures yet. I'll be sure to post pictures when I take some....

Later yo.

Jehovah-Jireh

Has God ever completely surprised you with how He provides? I honestly think that He has fun thinking up creative ways to give back to His children. Like, I got a rebate check in the mail this week that I completely forgot I sent for months ago. Then I get an award and bonus at work for doing an 'outstanding job' for one of our customers. I don't deserve it (I worked my tail off for a different customer, but that one wasn't as high profile) but I'll take the recognition where I can get it.

I mean, I'm trying to be a good steward with what God has given me at the moment. I am saving a lot of money. I am budgeting my resources so I can save a lot of money. Because I know that this job won't last forever. I know that I will have time ahead when I don't have a job, when I don't have an income, and I need to prepare for that time.

God will provide where He has led me. In Judges 9, there's a really cool illustration. Should a fig tree uproot itself and go to rule over the other trees? It could, but it would cease yielding fruit and would die because it was not where it was supposed to be. Why would I even consider uprooting myself from God's perfect will for my life to go and do what I want to do? Well, probably because I'm selfish and prideful and the chief of all sinners. But that's beside the point right now. God has given me a path for my life. I do not know any details. I know that right now I am working. Next year I am working. Eventually I will get married and raise a family. That's all I know. If I can allow the Holy Spirit to continue doing His perfect work in my life I will daily grow to be more and more like my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If I hinder God working in my life, and I can hinder Him, then I only hurt myself.

Random side note: I think it's interesting that I cannot help God to grow me, but I can hinder Him. He will not violate my free will. I guess the only way I help Him work in me is to keep myself from hindering Him...

All that being said, God loves to lavish His love on His children. I will never be worthy of that through my own works. Only through the blood of Christ am I counted worthy.

He will do exceeding abundantly above ALL that I ask or THINK according to His work through the Spirit in my life. Praise Him!


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