All settled!

I am now moved into my permanent home here at the Villa. I'm in the attic and I have 4 girls that will be living with me. I am the dorm steward - AAAH!

Other than that I am working housekeeping with Ines. We'll be in charge of making sure all the scheduling and cleaning is done correctly. I am also one of Dave's TA's.

If anyone wants to mail me something my mailing address is:

Stephanie Amersek
c/o Calvary Chapel Bibelschule
Eiserfelder Strasse 275
57080 Siegen
Germany

Two of my four girls have arrived so far, but I will have to check the schedule to see when the other two are coming.
That's about all for now.

Not yet settled

The pastor's conference was this past week. That means when I arrived on Thursday everyone was still immersed in serving the pastors. AWESOME!
That also means that I don't know where I am going to stay this semester. I am living with Nick and Jessie as well as Annie in the top apartment. I'm moving into my permanent home hopefully on Monday or Tuesday. I really want to move in. I am still living out of a suitcase and I just want to unpack and get settled.
Other than that I'm doing well! I am trying to catch up on the One Year Bible because I neglected it for the year to date. I'm up to about the 15th. Most likely this afternoon I'll get all caught up. We'll see ;)
I am very much looking forward to the students getting here next weekend.
There isn't much else going on at the moment so...I guess I'll update more later.
Later!

Leaving for Germany

Right now I am sitting at my boyfriend's house just spending a lot of time with him before I leave. Tomorrow I fly to Germany for 11 months. I will be interning at the Bibelschule. I am still bittersweet about it. I know God has so much in store for me for this year and once I get to Germany I will be fine. But I'm going to miss Jeremy.

I hope to be a little more diligent in bloging once I get there - more time on my hands.

We'll see.

Talk to y'all once I'm on the other side of the pond ;)

YSIC

too long

It seems like forever since I've posted. Actually, it's been about five months. How does time go by that quickly? At the moment I'm in Woodland, WA. What's new? First, as most of you know, I will be interning at the Bibelschule in Germany for 2009. Second, God has brought an amazing man into my life.

In that order.

So right now I'm sitting here keeping busy in a city I know nothing about.

Random. But so is everything that happens. Random in God's perfect timing and His perfect plan. Random to me but not to Him. That's where the trust comes in ;)

faith

Yesterday afternoon Martin asked me if I wanted to come and play a little football (that's soccer for you Yanks) before dinner at the Halle. I said sure. So I went over there and he and Roeloff took turns shooting on me as I attempted to keep goal. Martin shoots very hard. I was able to stop some, but a couple I didn't even attempt. At one point I stopped one with my right foot. The ball bounced off and was immediately followed by a shooting pain up my ankle, knee, and even into my thigh.

dang.

I couldn't put any weight on my foot at all. Martin helped me across the floor, through the net and down to a sitting position on the ledge, while I attempted to rest it a bit. Walking it off didn't help either. So basically I was in pain that afternoon. I walked back to the Villa - ok - I limped back to the Villa before dinner, and decided not to even attempt to walk back to the Halle to eat. So I stayed in the Cafe preparing a few things for breakfast. At this point Ben pokes his head in and asks if I would mind doing dishes for him since he was really not feeling well and wanted to go back to the apartments to sleep. I told him I would, and started working dishes when they were delivered to the Cafe. By the end of the night I was in tears with the amount of pain. It took me about 5 minutes to walk the 20 meters from the Cafe door to the Wohnung door.

Then was the excruciating part - climbing into my top bunk. None of my roommates were home, so I was on my own. I grabbed some paper towels and a water bottle in preparation for my getting up there. Once I made it up, I prayed.

And I continued to pray.

And weep.

God, how am I supposed to serve You here if I can't even walk?
Why was I so stupid that I tried to play sports as clumsy as I am?
Please take the pain...

There's a sign on the inside of the Wohnung that says something along the lines of "Faith is not believing that God can, but knowing that He will." I wanted to ask God to heal me. I couldn't bring myself to ask Him to.
Why?
Because I don't have enough faith. I kept going back and forth with myself. What if it is God's will to heal me? What if it isn't? Can I ask Him to do this or should I just wait it out?

Silly, I know.

I finally prayed that God would heal me. This morning I woke up with no pain, only stiffness in my right leg. I stretched that out this morning when I had 20 minutes off from my duties. My leg is 100%. I may even run on Saturday morning.

Faith.

I didn't even have a mustard seed last night and look what He gave me.

Germany

Well I'm here all safe and sound in Germany. Flight was good...got a little sleep ;)
I went to first service today, the 9:30 one and only nodded off once. NO - it wasn't because of the message, I was just extremely tired. So far my trip has been absolutly amazing!!! I have seen so many old friends and it feels like I never left. I feel at home here. Completly. I went for a run, I'm staying in the Wohnung, it's just like old times. I've been told to 'relax today, this week is going to be crazy' so this is me 'relaxing.' I'm not used to it. I have NOTHING to do! I'm going to go to the 5:00 pm service tonight, mostly because I'll probably see a bunch of friends there. But it's not quite 3 yet.

I looked at the schedule for this week. I'm mostly setting up breakfast and cleaning the kitchen. I'll be doing the initial bed-making as well. And cleaning. A lot of cleaning. But I'm completly looking forward to it!

At this point I really don't have too much more to say - I've only been here a couple hours and I don't have any pictures yet. I'll be sure to post pictures when I take some....

Later yo.

Jehovah-Jireh

Has God ever completely surprised you with how He provides? I honestly think that He has fun thinking up creative ways to give back to His children. Like, I got a rebate check in the mail this week that I completely forgot I sent for months ago. Then I get an award and bonus at work for doing an 'outstanding job' for one of our customers. I don't deserve it (I worked my tail off for a different customer, but that one wasn't as high profile) but I'll take the recognition where I can get it.

I mean, I'm trying to be a good steward with what God has given me at the moment. I am saving a lot of money. I am budgeting my resources so I can save a lot of money. Because I know that this job won't last forever. I know that I will have time ahead when I don't have a job, when I don't have an income, and I need to prepare for that time.

God will provide where He has led me. In Judges 9, there's a really cool illustration. Should a fig tree uproot itself and go to rule over the other trees? It could, but it would cease yielding fruit and would die because it was not where it was supposed to be. Why would I even consider uprooting myself from God's perfect will for my life to go and do what I want to do? Well, probably because I'm selfish and prideful and the chief of all sinners. But that's beside the point right now. God has given me a path for my life. I do not know any details. I know that right now I am working. Next year I am working. Eventually I will get married and raise a family. That's all I know. If I can allow the Holy Spirit to continue doing His perfect work in my life I will daily grow to be more and more like my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If I hinder God working in my life, and I can hinder Him, then I only hurt myself.

Random side note: I think it's interesting that I cannot help God to grow me, but I can hinder Him. He will not violate my free will. I guess the only way I help Him work in me is to keep myself from hindering Him...

All that being said, God loves to lavish His love on His children. I will never be worthy of that through my own works. Only through the blood of Christ am I counted worthy.

He will do exceeding abundantly above ALL that I ask or THINK according to His work through the Spirit in my life. Praise Him!


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Now playing: Calvary Chapel Siegen - Bis ans Ende der Welt
via FoxyTunes

Good Morning!

I got up ridiculously early today. That means 1:45 am. Normally I sleep in until 4 on Saturdays, because I get up at 3 on a normal day...you're thinking "um, Stephanie, THAT's ridiculously early...."
I know.

I was up early because my work is cracking down on parking and a friend who works second shift needed to get two cars home this weekend. So when I got home from that, I went for a run. Longer than usual, but it was a REALLY good run.

Here's where everything gets so cool.

After breakfast I took a cup of tea out on my front porch to watch the sunrise. It's about 6 am at this point. There is a beautiful lake view from my porch, and as it has been wet out there was so much mist. As the sky began to lighten and I was listening to the birds chirping away, God just spoke to my heart. He reminded me that there is so much going on out there that has NOTHING to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with Him. I saw His creation in front of me, heard the birds all around, and then was blessed enough to watch five deer come out and have breakfast. Ah, this is the life!

I can't wait until I am back in Germany. I'll visit in about 6 weeks and then...well...if you don't know what comes after that then you'll have to ask me ;)

It is so good to know that I am in God's hands, in His plan, and that He is working through me daily. He is sanctifying me daily. Shaping me, renewing my heart, mind and spirit through His Spirit.

I can't wait until He calls us HOME.

Thank you, Lord, for Your peace, Your love, Your creation and that You have allowed us to enter into Your rest. Help me to conquer the land and destroy all the strongholds of the enemy. Help me to remember that it is only through Your strength that this will be done and that I must stay humble. Don't let me attack Ai in my own strength, Lord! Thank You for Your creation - praise You, Jesus!
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Now playing: Phil Wickham - Let My Words be Few
via FoxyTunes

whistle while you work

So last night I got together with my friend Mary and we had dinner. I was so blessed! We talked about God, what He's doing in each of our lives, all all that good stuff. It was incredibly amazing to be able to share my struggles with someone.

I'm on my lunchbreak at work right now just reflecting on how God blesses us with the body of Christ. He really is good!

SO faithful

God showed Himself so faithful yesterday at work! I had some personal things that were making my day drag on an on. It was only about 11 in the morning and I was DONE - ready to go home with 5 hours left before I could leave. Finally I prayed and asked God to comfort me. Guess what? He did!! Not only did He remind me of what I read that morning, Psalm 37, and comfort me with those words, but He gave me His peace! I pulled out my Bible and read the Psalm again, just to calm me down a little more. As soon as I finished my phone rang and it was someone saying rather shortly that I should have called this vendor already and why haven't I done that yet? I did not want to call because I've been hounding them but I picked up the phone and called Tom. The receptionist Sandy answered, she happens to be Tom's wife ;)
Tom's out doing an install, you can call his cell phone and he'll give you an update on those windows etc.
Then I said something off-handedly about God, I believe it was something along the lines of she'll be praising God when this situation is over, and it turns out she's an on fire Christian!! God used her to totally encourage me and bless me. ISN'T THE GOD WE SERVE SO FAITHFUL? Honestly, has He ever failed you? NO! never!!!

Praise the Lord!


Great is Thy faithfulness, O God, my Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be

Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have need Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me


Summer and winter and springtime and harvest
Sun moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside



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Now playing: Reilly - Come to Me
via FoxyTunes

New Bible

Alright, so I bought a new Bible a couple weeks ago and it just came in the mail. I'm so excited!!! KJV pocket leather bound. I had a pocket ESV but a couple times while reading I had to run and grab my KJV Study from my room because I really needed to read it in KJV and --you understand! The really cool thing is that a page was cut wrong, so I'll be taking my scissors to it tomorrow morning and I'll have a ragged page at the beginning of 1 Corinthians. Oh well, I'm still happy! Re-do all my bookmarks and start underlining and all...YAY!


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Now playing: Rick Greene - Psalm 91
via FoxyTunes

So much going on

Wow. I have been neglecting my blog. So what’s new with me? A lot. I am praying about some BIG changes in my life. And I know where God is leading me – at least for the moment. Please be praying that I would be faithful to the calling that God has placed on my life. More on that to follow.

Last Monday (February 11th) was a huge day in my life. I woke up with a verse stuck in my head. I know, how often does THAT happen?? Deuteronomy 6:11-12 “…when thou shalt have eaten and be full; then beware lest thou forget the LORD which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.”
Ok, so that means God is going to give me something and wants me to remember Him afterwards. He’s warning me (1 Corinthians 10:12 “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall”) ahead of time – so that like Nineveh in the book of Jonah I can repent and not face judgment. But what is He preparing me for? I know. But I’m not saying. Why? Because it is not something to spread around too soon. Let me tell you though, God is amazing and He is faithful. I mean, He got me a free eye exam this past week. Free. Faithful, I know. He’s amazing, isn’t He?

I just realized that I told you NOTHING on what is going on in my life right now, only hints of what is to come. Yet I am excited. Very excited.




Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

27/3/08 12:46 pm updated the lyrics 'cause Lazz said I had to ;)



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Now playing: Lothar Kosse - Heiliges Land
via FoxyTunes

Yes

It has been a long time since I posted. As usual not much has changed. 'Cept my Wanderlust has increased. My friend John leaves for the Air Force tomorrow, and I'm really jealous of him. I feel like all my adventuring is behind me, and his is only beginning. Oh well. God knows what's best for me, right?
I was going to write more, maybe I'll update it later, but my friends just called to go shooting, so I have to leave right now. Yeah, maybe I'll add more later ;)


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Now playing: Phil Wickham - Give You My World
via FoxyTunes

Psalm 91

1_He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty

How many times have I read that? Tons. How many times have I sung that? Even more. But on Friday August 31 this really hit me. I've said this before and I will say it again, there is going to be some major PERSONAL APPLICATION in what I am about to say, nothing to build a spiritual house on, so please don't think I'm coming out with new and/or strange doctrine.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High.... To me, at least on Friday, that means whoever dwells in the Tabernacle. Ok, so you walk into the Tabernacle/Temple, and what is directly on your right? The showbread. Twelve loaves of unleavened bread set there symbolic of the twelve tribes of Israel. The bread is replaced weekly and the Priests eat the bread that comes off the table. Translation, Judism. The Jewish Scripture, their history, their relationship with God. And directly on your left as you enter? The lampstand. This is symbolic of the Holy Spirit and His ministry. Translation? His personal indwelling in the believer, the Church. His work in my life and my fellowship with other believers. Directly in front of you as you walk in? The alter of incense. Prayer, plain and simple. Let's bring it all together. He who makes a habit of studying the scripture, abiding in fellowship with the Holy Spirit and with other believers, and prays continually...

...will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 'Abide' is a fun word. It means so much. According to dictionary.com it means *clears throat*

1. to remain; continue; stay: Abide with me.
2. to have one's abode; dwell; reside: to abide in a small Scottish village.
3. to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, etc.; last.
–verb (used with object)
4. to put up with; tolerate; stand: I can't abide dishonesty!
5. to endure, sustain, or withstand without yielding or submitting: to abide a vigorous onslaught.
6. to wait for; await: to abide the coming of the Lord.
7. to accept without opposition or question: to abide the verdict of the judges.
8. to pay the price or penalty of; suffer for.
—Verb phrase
9. abide by,
a. to act in accord with.
b. to submit to; agree to: to abide by the court's decision.
c. to remain steadfast or faithful to; keep: If you make a promise, abide by it.

See? big word. But that's not my favorite word in this sentence. My favorite is the word 'will.' Wait, you mean that whole 'how can I keep myself in accordince with God's will' question is as simple as dwelling in His Tabernacle? Yep. This verse states that if you dwell with God and in His Tabernacle you WILL abide in the shadow of the Almighty. Well that was simple!

Fear

I was reading today in Hebrews and Hebrews 2:15 really jumped out at me. It states, with verse 14 for context: "Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, 15 and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery ."
How does Satan keep men from coming to God? I thought of two very prominent ways: Pride and Fear. Yet in a way, pride is a form of fear. It is the fear of losing oneself and of appearing weak to others. Satan uses fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." That verse was POUNDED into my head in Germany, as it is one of pastor Nick's life verses. And then I thought about it. How often do I let fear control my life? How often do I listen to my fears of, oh, failure, rejection, inferiority etc. instead of the Spirit of God dwelling in me? The more I examine my life and my choices, the more I see how fear has infiltrated so much of my life. How many of your decisions are motivated by fear? Remember, God has not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

Concert

I went to the Shane and Shane concert last night, mostly to see Phil Wickham who was opening...let me just say the concert was AMAZING! Phil set the tone by finishing off a couple of his songs with well known worship songs and Shane and Shane took it to the next level with their own brand of worship. I was truly blessed. It was a perfect evening, even if the concert did start off an hour late. I think it was kind of funny that I was waiting at the door with about 50 other people 45 minutes before the show was supposed to start when the tour bus arrived - they had broken down (in a very literal sense) in Conneticut and were just arriving.

So this is me with Phil

Dreams

I dream every night. Seriously! Every stinkin' night I have at least one dream that I remember all or at least fragments of. Last night the dream included a woman on TV speaking in German, and I was so happy to hear someone speaking German that it soothed me. I think that means I miss Germany. With my going back to Russia this summer, I find myself feeling like I'm going back to Germany. I'm picturing my friends in Russia as well as those I have in Germany. Right now the song "Satisfied" by Scott Cunningham is on, but I feel like the only way for me to be truly satisfied is to return to Germany. I'm still restless here. And I don't know what to do about it.

I'm still here.

Things haven't changed much in the past month. I'm still unemployed. Still planning on going back to Russia. Still feeling desperatly like I'm supposed to be doing something that I'm not doing. Have you ever had something that you LOVE doing, where everytime you do that activity you just feel *right*? I've had that for about eight years. Yet I'm not pursuing that activity. Why? What am I scared of?

/randomness

What do you think?

Yes or no? My problem exactly. How do you answer a question when you don't know what the question is? If you read my last post, you understand that I'm fairly restless right now. I feel like I'm wasting away and not reaching my potential for God. I feel like He's giving me opportunities but I can't hear Him and therefore don't know what those opportunities are. I guess that what this blog is all about is my desire to hear from God. Please pray? Thanks.
YSIC

Restless.

I went to a movie last night, playing hookie from church. Hey, Chris wasn't teaching, no one was...I just needed to be alone....

So I saw "Amazing Grace" as I had heard it was excellent from numerous people. That includes the couple who was in front of me in line at the theater. I enjoyed the movie.

When I left, I felt restless. Like, here I am, sitting at home (while not looking for work) and doing essentially nothing, when I could be out doing something for God. Why am I in the States? And if I have to be in the States, why am I just looking for a job? I feel like I should be out there doing something. I dunno. What do you think?