Dreams

I dream every night. Seriously! Every stinkin' night I have at least one dream that I remember all or at least fragments of. Last night the dream included a woman on TV speaking in German, and I was so happy to hear someone speaking German that it soothed me. I think that means I miss Germany. With my going back to Russia this summer, I find myself feeling like I'm going back to Germany. I'm picturing my friends in Russia as well as those I have in Germany. Right now the song "Satisfied" by Scott Cunningham is on, but I feel like the only way for me to be truly satisfied is to return to Germany. I'm still restless here. And I don't know what to do about it.

I'm still here.

Things haven't changed much in the past month. I'm still unemployed. Still planning on going back to Russia. Still feeling desperatly like I'm supposed to be doing something that I'm not doing. Have you ever had something that you LOVE doing, where everytime you do that activity you just feel *right*? I've had that for about eight years. Yet I'm not pursuing that activity. Why? What am I scared of?

/randomness